Plain Old Jen

Tales From The Bus Rider...

2008-01-29T12:17:00.000-04:00

Everyday I take the bus to and from work. It is about a 45 minute journey one way. To tell you the truth taking the bus is the highlight of my day. Some people are probably thinking wow you must have an exciting life.. well before you judge finish reading this entry.

Story #1
This is a story that probably takes place within my first month here. I was coming home from work, sitting there minding my own business when out of the corner of my eye I notice this man who kept staring at me. So after about the third time of me looking up and him staring at me I casually smile at him. When I did he started talking. Well I had my head phones in so I took them out and asked him to repeat what he had just said. And he began to repeat himself very loudly I might add, "You and I use to date and you broke my heart and stole my money" and I just kind of sat there in shock. I mean what do you say after something like that.. so he continued to say this over and over again! All I wanted to do was crawl under my seat and die! Finally I dug up the courage and said, "I think you may have me mistaken for someone else," with that being said, he replied, "OH, sorry" and turn around in his seat and never said another word!!

Story #2
This story also takes place on the bus on my way home from work. I was waiting at the bus stop and this lady who was walking with a cane and had her leg in a cast came to the bus shelter where I was sitting. So I did what any good maritimer would do, got off the little bench and let her sit down. She was amazed at my kindness and started talking to me. She just started off talking to me about the weather, where she worked and what she did, etc. Then the buses came and of course she was on my bus so I sat down in a seat and she sat in front of me and turn around and continued to talk to me. But this is where it gets interesting. She then proceeded to tell me about her life, that she grew up Christian but doesn't go to church now because she lives with her boyfriend, and I told her that was no reason not to go to church. And we talked about God for a little while which was nice. But then it happened......she began to talk about her sex life..now you have to remember we are on a BUS, where voices carry and this lady's wasn't talking very quietly. So here I am on the bus listening to intimate details of this lady's sex life and I kept trying to change the subject but nope she was determined to tell me and ask me questions!!! Again I wanted to crawl under my seat and DIE!! But then I seen the glory est IGA ahead (where she said she was going) we are getting closer to the stop and she hasn't rang the bell yet to let her off. And I said hey your stop is coming up and she said I am going to stay on and talk to you... I wanted to puke!! So she stayed on and transferred buses with me talking... I was so afraid she would get off at my stop and try to come home with me...so I did what any one would do PRAYED!!! haha That day I got off a stop before mine and walked in the opposite direction until the bus was out of sight. I was never so happy to get off the bus.

Story #3
This is kind of a sad story. There is this girl who is no doubt on drugs who I see quite a lot on my journey. I have talked to her at bus stops before and even given her food! This day she was really strung out and I sat relatively close to her on the bus. She keep staring at me and I would just smile at her, then at one of the stops she moved back and sat with me. She then proceeded to ask me for Crystal Meth which I didn't have on me. She was getting quite annoyed that I wouldn't sell her any because she said you have sold it to me before, and I said no I haven't just given you food. Do you want some food?? No, I want the drugs. She sat there for about 10 mins trying to get me to sell her drugs and I keep telling her I didn't sell drugs but I would give her my granola bar if she wanted it. Finally she just took it and got off the bus.

Story #4
This story is the reason I decided to write this blog because it is funny and happened today while on my way to work. Usually the bus is crowded in the morning and you can hardly get a seat but this morning it is -49 so the bus was kind of empty. Well I sat in a seat next to an older gentlemen. About 5 mins into the bus ride I look over and the man has his false teeth out. I casually look over at him every now and then to see what he is trying to do. Finally I realize he is trying to put like poly dent on them to help them stick. He then notices me looking at him and then proceeds to ask me to help him! I am a little shocked but I said sure. Then he asked me if I would hold his teeth while he put the poly dent on it. I looked at him, smile and said how about you hold your teeth and I squeeze the poly dent on them for you. He agreed, so I squeezed out his poly dent, he popped his teeth back into his mouth and smiled at me. He made my day and I hope you smile over this one too!!

Well here ends my stories for today. Now do you see why riding the bus is the highlight of my day??? I have a lot more so maybe some day I will blog about them as well! Enjoy your day!!

A Matter of the Heart..

2007-10-09T13:04:00.000-03:00

I see my heart and it looks like it is made of sand. It's dry, crusty and cracking. I reach out to pick it up and cling to it tightly but as I scoop it up into the palm of my hand, it crumbles. I stare down at the now pile of dry sand in my cupped hands. I begin to sob and bring my hands to my chest.

In the distance I can see a figure walking towards me. I squint my eyes to try to make the figure out but I can not. But as it comes closer I realize it is Jesus. The tears are still streaming down my face as I look up into the eyes of my maker. He doesn't say a word and neither do I because I know deep down he already knows what is wrong. He then kneels down beside me, he cups my hands with with hands and says to me, "Let me have it", I look down and my hands to see the sand that was once my heart, and then I look up into the eyes of Jesus, then back down at my hands. This happens quite a few times, finally I spread my fingers and I can feel the cool sand slip between them and into the hands of my creator. I am watching him very attentively, he then spits into his hands and begins to mold something, I am watching so carefully that I don't think I am even blinking. His hands stop, my eyes are so wide with excitement, he holds out his hands and there in the palm of his hands is my heart. I hold out my hands to take my heart and he closes his fingers on it and looks at me with his giant blue eyes and says "You are my child, I know everything about you. I knitted you together in your Mother's womb. So I know how to fix you, when you feel broken." I just looked up at my maker with tears again streaming down my face and smiled and he smiled back at me. The he took my hand opened my fingers and placed my heart into the palm of my hand. I stared down at my heart for what seemed like forever and when I looked up I could see Jesus walking in the distance.

This is a vision I had the other day. Right now in my life I am struggling with a few things that has my heart, dry, crusty and broken. I can't remember a time when I felt so disconnected from my heart in all my life, it scares me quite a bit actually. But I believe I had this vision to let me know that my Creator will come in time and mend it back together again. But at this very moment I think I am only at the step of looking down at my broken heart and sobbing...So I guess I just wait for him to come and mold my heart back to normal...until then I will keep pressing on.

How I Am Feeling Today!!

2007-09-25T14:29:00.000-03:00

1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
15 As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children-
18 with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.
20 Praise the LORD, you his angels,you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word.
21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the LORD, O my soul.

Today, this is what I woke up with on my lips... Praise the Lord Oh my Soul, Praise the Lord. I also had a picture in my head and I am by no means an artist but I like to think I can draw with paint on the computer...It doesn't do the picture I had in my head justice but it will do. I could just see myself on a rocky break water looking over at a beautiful sunset, singing at the top of my lungs Praise the Lord, oh my Soul, Praise the Lord... and as I do this a warm breeze comes and fills me from head to toe. I know at that moment I am in the presents of the Holy One... and I begin to be overwhelmed with peace and comfort and love...things in which I have been feeling not so much of. So it was an amazing feeling and it continues on through out my day and so does my praising.. I might not be singing on the top of my lungs on the outside but my inside is!!

Righteous Root

2007-09-20T16:41:00.000-03:00

Do you ever feel like you are being tossed around by the storms of life? Have you ever seen a tree in a hurricane? The winds and the rain blow the leaves from the branches, and sometimes the branches are torn off, or the tree is blown over. But the tree's roots are protected from the weather by being firmly established in the ground.

I don't know why I have been thinking about trees and roots today but I have been. And when I started to think about it, I realized that the same is true in our lives. If our thinking is not in line with the Word of God, we become vulnerable during the difficult times. But when our thoughts are in line with God's thoughts, He plants a righteous root within us. We become firmly established. Our thinking becomes clear so we can be strong and overcome the storms of life.

God wants you and I to be solid. He wants us to be steady. He wants us to have an established life and character. He wants our roots to grow deep in His Word. He wants us to be righteous in Him.

So I challenge all of us today to ask the Lord to show us any areas of our thought life that might need to be firmly planted in His word. And I assure you that as you do this, your relationship with the Lord will grow therefore you will have deep spiritual roots and stand victorious against the storms of this life.

...Drowning...

2007-08-25T16:28:00.000-03:00

This past Sunday I went to church and hear a sermon that really spoke to me. It was about drowning. Yup that's right, drowning. Peter (Gillies) was talking about how God will never let us drown and how we may be in the water up to our necks but He will never let us drown. And honestly that is how I am feeling right now.

In my life I am going through a lot of transition and I will be the first to admit that I do NOT handle it well. For those of you who don't know I am leaving for Saskatchewan in less than 2 days. That is a huge thing for me. I am leaving behind people I love and who love me to go to a place where I know nobody (but I am sure will grow to love me...because who wouldn't). This past week I have had to say some pretty hard "see ya laters" and have had plenty of moments where I want to call my national director and tell him that I am not going, in other words I felt like I was drowning. There have been other times when I just feel like I am in the water bobbing around waiting for God to come rescue me but my favorite feeling is that I am yes that's right folks hand in hand with God on top of the water.

This week though has been a lot more gasping for air than hand in hand and I know that over the next few weeks I am going to be like a breaching whale...sometime down below and sometimes flying high above the water. And I also know this, no matter where I am, God is with me and so are the people that love me and that is what keeps me going and reassures me that I WILL be ok!

Thanks so much for all your prayers because I have defiantly been feeling them...

Giving Up!

2007-06-21T12:12:00.000-03:00

So I have decided to give up, that's right, I Jen Hoddinott have decided to give up on life. But probably not the way you think. As most of you know I have accepted a job in Saskatchewan which is quite far from New Brunswick and at first thought I didn't want to go because I would have to leave behind my family, friends, my church, my groups that I am involved in and everything else that is a comfort to me. And I am not going to lie, God and I had an argument about me moving so far away but of course God won!! As He usually does over time!

So how am I giving up on life? Well it is like this, my life really isn't mine and I have been trying to hold on to it because I believe I know what is best for me when in actuality I have no idea because I can't see the big picture. I have come to the conclusion that I am giving up my life, and taking up God's life for me. I am reminded of the verse in Luke, "Then he said to them all: If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.(9:23)" So that is what I am trying to do...I am trying to deny the life I want and walk with God in the life He wants for me..

With doing this I have really come to love the lyrics of the song "No Sacrifice" by Jason Upton. Those who know me well know that I have been listening to this song for a while now but something changed in it for me...Like the words just penetrated my heart, my mind, my spirit and my soul. And I really feel God was speaking this directly to me and telling me to use this as a prayer!

"To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to

To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

To you I give the gifts

Your love has given me

How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?

Because Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life

To you I give my future

As long as it may last

To you I give my present

To you I give my past

Because Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

Your thoughts are higher than mine

Your words are deeper than mine

Your love is stronger than mine

This is no sacrifice

Here's my life"

Just in case I didn't hear Him through words, He also gave me a picture. I was in the throne room with God and He just smiled at me and I felt uncomfortable because I knew what I had to do but I didn't want to. So I just stood there for a while and He just continued to smile at me. Then all of a sudden I began to cry and I feel to my knees and wept! In my head I could see the words, hopes, dreams, future, past, present, gifts and I knew exactly what I had to do. I lifted up my hands and offered them to God one by one. Each word appeared in the palm of my hands and as I gave them to God, he smiled bigger and bigger. When I had given up each word, I was overwhelmed with peace and God spoke and said, thank you!

Let's Go..

2007-05-08T02:06:00.000-03:00

This is a picture of Jesus and I walking along a path arm in arm (we are suppose to be holding hands but I made us to close together). Anyways, tonight as I was quieting myself before God, He gave me a picture, and this is it. I could see us walking hand and hand along my path of life and it was awesome. Sometimes I would get really frustrated and let go of His hand and He would fall behind and I could see myself getting more and more frustrated until I fell to my knees and cried and while I stop He would then catch up, reach out His hand and we would walk together again.
Then sometimes I would get really excited and shake off His hand and then run ahead, I would be looking back at Him and He would say wait up and I would be so excited that I would just keep running. But then I would come to some obstacle and I would have to wait for Him to get there and then of course He would help me over, under or through whatever it was.
Through this I just realized that things are just easier when we walk with Him and stay with Him, when we don't let go and try to do things on our own, or when we don't leave Him behind when we are excited. No, we need to take Him with us no matter what..walk with Him down our journey of life. Not that is going to make all the obstacles go away, but it sure does make it easier to have the help.
I am just really flabbergasted with God the last couple of days, He has just shown and revealed Himself new to me. And I feel like I am on a journey to love Him more and that excites me...
This is a song that I have been listening too for the last little while and I have kind of made it a prayer and I want to share it with you so that you can use it as a pray too!!

Above All Else

Jesus, my passion in life is to know You

May all other goals bow down to

This journey of loving You more

Jesus, You’ve showered Your goodness on me

Given Your gifts so freely

But there’s one thing I’m longing for

Hear my heart’s cry

And my prayer for this life

Above all else

Give me Yourself

Savior, the more that I see Your beauty

The more that I glimpse Your glory

My heart is captured by You

Jesus, You are my greatest treasure

Nothing this world can offer

Could ever compare to You

So, hear my heart’s cry

And my prayer for this life

Pray this prayer and Walk with Jesus...I dare You..

When the tears fall...

2007-05-06T14:38:00.000-03:00

Lately I have been going through a time of transition and for those of you who know me, know that I don't deal with transition very well and those of you who don't know, do now! A lot of things have been changing in my life the past few weeks and it has caused my heart to grieve. And grieve it did, I have cried a lot and could cry at the drop of a dime. One moment I would be fine and the next I would be hiding myself in my room sobbing uncontrollably. I am not going to lie it is a weird place to be in especially when you are someone who doesn't like to cry and still feels a little uncomfortable when others cry (God's working on that though).

So I decided that I needed to go the beach because that is where I feel closes to God. So I packed my bag and left for good ole Maces Bay. I ended up on the beach Thursday afternoon for almost 4 hours. It was great. I am sure that if anyone had of seen me they would of thought I was crazy because not only was I talking to God out loud but yelling at Him...We chatted for a long time and we agree that even though I was going through a transitional time that I still loved Him and He still loved me, even though I called Him a few names....

Today while writing an email to a friend, I read this passage from the bible that I have read and heard a million times but it was different today, "God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too— your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful— I can't take it all in! " Psalm 139 (The Message)

When I read this I just took a deep breath and felt really peaceful. Why? Because Jesus is before, with and after me, so why bother worrying...And the Psalmist is right, it is too much, too wonderful...I can't take it all in...but what I can take is marvelous!! Thank you Jesus for putting up with me!!

New Pic

2007-04-03T00:09:00.000-03:00

This is for my Mummies, I don't expect anyone to get this...so don't try!! haha

I GOT THE JOY JOY JOY JOY DOWN IN MY HEART AND BONES AND EVERYWHERE ELSE!!!!

2007-03-20T17:11:00.001-03:00

Lately my joy has been overflowing. I can see God pouring out his joy into me, and he is pouring and he reaches the top of my cup and then looks up and smiles at me and tips his joy jug a little more so that the one little drop makes my cup overflow and then he throws his head back and begins to laugh and as do I.

God has been working in my life so much these past couple of weeks and all I can really explain is that I am happy, more happy than I have ever been in my whole entired life. The weird thing is, is that I can't stop laughing because I am so sensetive to the spirit. IT'S AWESOME!!

woooooooooo JESUS!!! haha

"When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in His love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!!!" John 15: 10-11

A Story...part 2...The Prince Has Come!!

2007-03-15T23:47:00.000-03:00

This is part 2 of my story for my friend...again just admire my art work...

A Story

2007-03-13T01:43:00.000-03:00

I made this for a friend, so I don't expect anyone to understand or get it. Just enjoy my art work...haha

What Shrek Character Are You?

2007-03-01T12:15:00.000-04:00

You scored as Dragon. You are dragon. You are a romantic and anybody woyld be lucky to have you in thier life!

Dragon

63%

Donkey

50%

Shrek

42%

Princess Fiona

42%

Lord Farquaad

29%

Which Shrek character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

God gave me a picture.....

2007-02-23T12:37:00.000-04:00

In my last post I discussed that I was struggling with an inner battle. Well I still am and there has been lost of tears shed and lots of crying out. One morning as I was sitting and listening and praying God gave me this picture...It was a picture of me in a desert, and I am standing there looking out at the never ending journey ahead of me. I start to panic and think to myself, "how on earth am I going to do this" and I am just overwhelmed and beside myself. Then another picture comes to me. It is the same picture but in this one God is there and I can hear Him very clearly...Jen, you need to surrender to me and I will help you through this journey. Then I see myself, fall at His feet, sob, and cry out. The He puts out His hand, helps me up and says, "You ready? Let's Go" and hand in hand God and I begin my journey....

Inner Battles

2007-02-14T12:22:00.000-04:00

I've realized lately that I am struggling with an inner battle that I didn't really know I had (I hate those ones). This battle is one that goes way back in my life and it is something I didn't really think was affecting me or maybe the better choice of words is that I was in denial about it.

After a conversation with a friend I realized this "struggle" is something I have been battling for a long time and isn't going to go way. I am not going to lie, I'm afraid to start dealing with it because I don't really know how to start and it means a lot of pain I need to face...

But on the upside I have a God who is all powerful and almighty. I just ask that you keep me in your prayers...

Small Things...

2007-02-07T11:14:00.000-04:00

Lately God has been showing me that He is in the small things. Ever since He has brought it to my attention I have been notice more and more. I guess before God opened my eyes to this I never really stopped to notice or honestly really even cared.

For me this has really deepen my relationship with God and I feel like I am on a whole new level with him. It is an amazing feeling that I am having a hard time putting into words.

For those of you who know me, know that I am not good with words never have been and maybe never will. When I was thinking about what to write in this post I got a picture (I know, hard to believe..haha), the picture was just like the one up in the left hand corner but in black and white. It took me a minute to see what God was trying to say to me and then I clued in.

The dandelion is a whole flower every part of it, so one could say that it is made up of many small parts which God has so perfectly put together. And that is the same for us, God has meticulously put us together with every small detail planned out. We just need to trust Him.

OBEDIENCE...Sometimes Stinks...

2007-01-22T23:13:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I did something I never thought I would ever do. I washed Gray's feet!! Yes, that is right folks I washed Gray's feet (what a stanky choice of feet to wash for my first time right??...just joking..Love you!!). I know some of you are thinking what the heck, how did that happen and others are thinking so who cares, what is the big deal? Well it is a big deal because I hate feet, one could say I have a foot phobia. But enough about that...here is the story of how I got to the place to wash her feet.

This past weekend I went to Rhema and the day I went I decided to make a promise with God, the promise was that I would do anything he asked me to do. And guess what he tested me the whole weekend. By giving me pictures while praying and tell me to speak them outloud, some of which were so whacked out that I said to him you want people to think I am on the crack don't you? But then the random pictures to me always made sense to the people I was praying with. Although this was out of my comfort zone, I could handle it.

But then came Saturday night, we were all sitting in the chapel and Mary Ann and Ian brought in the bowls, towels and jugs of water....I am not going to lie, my stomach turned a little. (There was a time when I couldn't even be in the room during foot washing.) Well automatically I was like whatever, this doesn't involve me.

So then I was singing and praising God minding my own bushiness when God spoke to me;

God: Jen you are going to wash Gray's feet.
Me: Yeah, ummm, no I am not.
(little while passes)
God: Jen it's time to wash her feet.
Me: Oh man, I can't do that.
(little while passes again)
God: Jen, You are to wash Gray's feet.
Jen: Oh man
(little while passes yet again)
God: Go wash Gray's feet, remember what you promised
Jen: Oh crap, your right

So when I knew I was going to have to do it, I am not going to lie I had a mini anxiety attack and I was having trouble breathing. So I had to get some prayer before I did it, so I did. After praying with an amazing lady named Lisa, I was ready (well as ready as I was going to be). I went in and grabbed Gray by the hand and told her...There was some crying...ok I lied there was some sobbing and then I did it. I washed Gray's feet.

It was an experience I will NEVER forget. And I didn't really get why people thought it was so humbling, until I actually did it.

I just want to say God has done so much to me this weekend, and at the beginning of it when someone was praying for weekend they got a word from God, "People were going to leave and be changed forever." And it is true, I will never be the same again. God was so amazing this weekend and I was so blessed. So I just want to give God all the glory and praises he deserves!!

The Mystical Land Of Impasse

2007-01-16T23:19:00.000-04:00

Never Let Go

2007-01-14T17:12:00.000-04:00

"Oh no, You never let go

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go

In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me"

(Matt Redman, You Never Let Go)

Everytime I hear this song, I picture Jesus and I hand in hand walking on the beach. As we are walking down the beach there are many different obstacles in the way. Sometimes I feel so weak and that I can't go on anymore but this is when Jesus, not only holds my hand but picks me up and carries me until I am ready to walk on my own (still hand in hand with him).

I just love this song because it is one of those songs where I just feel God beside me when I hear it. And feel him holding my hand. It just makes me really content!

Jesus, it means so much to me to know that you will never let go of me...

SNOW DAY

2007-01-08T14:42:00.000-04:00

Today, in Saint John and surrounding area we had a snow day. Now when school is cancelled that means I don't have to go into work so I too, get a snow day. It was a very unexpected snow day but has been great so far. My morning began by Emma running into my room at around 8am yelling "school is cancelled", after my heart attack, I got up and went upstairs to see the snow...That is where my day began.

(the snowman's name is Twiggy, also take note of my hat. It's the coolest hat in the WORLD!! Are you JEALOUS??? You should be!!!)

Emma and I then sat on the couch in the kitchen and listened to the radio. And then I decided I needed a nap so back to bed for a hour or so...ZzZzZz....Then when I got up. Em and I went outside and made a snowman. Yup that's right! This was followed by a nice warm cup of hot chocolate.

OH HOW I LOVE SNOW DAYS!!!

Oh My Kids...

2006-12-16T22:42:00.000-04:00

So as most of you know I work at an after school program at a school in Saint John. Well every second Thursday we go to the computer lab and the things most of the kids like to do best is watching videos on You Tube, well one of my boys we'll call him "Bono" (thanks for the name Emma. Well anyways Bono loves the video "I Like to Move It" from the movie Madagascar! This past Thursday Bono asked me to bring up the You Tube web page, so I did, and I watched him type in the video he wanted to search for and he typed in "I Like To Moo" and I said to Bono, ummm I think you spelt it wrong which he replied, "Nope, you'll see". So I did see and the video above it what came up...

A Lesson From Whoville

2006-12-14T21:25:00.000-04:00

If you removed Santa, the trees, and presents from Christmas, what would you have left? Oh Yeah the most important part, the birth of Lord, Jesus Christ, God's Son who was sent to save mankind. That is what I am celebrating this year and every year.

Looking at Christmas from the outside, you share the perspective of another lost soul who once totally misunderstood the meaning of Christmas: Dr Seuss' Grinch.

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming!
It came
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
The the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...Perhaps...Means a little bit more!"

And it sure does, while we are running around getting ready for the big day, please take the time to think about what Christmas really is about....

Jesus Spit on Me

2006-12-06T23:18:00.000-04:00

Mark 8:22 - 30

"They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man's eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, "Do you see anything?" He looked up and said, "I see people; they look like trees walking around." Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Jesus sent him home, saying, "Don't go into the village."

Christmas in November

2006-11-28T21:39:00.000-04:00

Christmas Dinner....YUMMY!!

Looks like Christmas Morning

Abby Opening Presents

Cleaning Up After Opening Presents

This past weekend my family celebrated Christmas because my sister and her husband are up from Connecticut. It was a good time for the most part and it kind of put me in the Christmas mood. Not enough to want to listen to Christmas music, decorate or put up a tree. But in the mood to except that Christmas is almost here....

For Andrea

2006-11-17T10:29:00.000-04:00

I have this friend who name is Andrea and last week she got her first deer. Yup, that is right folks, she shot and killed her first deer...

Well I just wanted to congratulate her on this accomplishment not that I condone killing of God's little animals or big in some case. But I know it meant a lot to her to get it...

So I thought I would just share that with all of you...Really I just wanted to show off this AWESOME picture I drew for her...

We Believe

2006-11-12T15:22:00.000-04:00

For those of you who know me; know I love Good Charlotte. I find their music really speaks to me and I can relate to it a lot. I have recently rediscovered one of their songs called we believe (which is the video above). I was listening to it and then I decided to look up the lyrics and part of the song really stuck out for me;

We are all the same
Human in all our ways and all our pains
(So let it be)
There’s a love that could fall down like rain
(Let us see)
Let forgiveness wash away the pain
(What we need)
And no one really knows what they are searching for
(We believe)
This world is crying for so much more

We believe(x6)
In this love

We believe(x5)
In this love

So this world is too much for you to take
Just lay it down and follow me
I’ll be everything you need
In everyway

The last part of that really makes me think. How many times have I just been so frustrated with the world and everything in it and just get so worked up about everything and want to give up. And I sometimes I just sit there and think "woe is me" but then I remember what an amazing God I have. So then I have to lay all my worries and fears down to him and in a sense get back on the horse and follow him.

The last two lines that I have from the lyrics reminds me of Matthew 6:25 - 34, where it talks about how God takes care of the birds of the air, and how much more important are you, so why worry, he will take care of you. And how the wild grass is dressed, he will dress you even better. It ends with saying so don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself.

So "when the world is too much for you to take, just lay it down and follow me [Him]" and remember "I'll be [he is] everything you need, in EVERYWAY!!"

Oh How I Love The Beach!

2006-10-30T21:16:00.000-04:00

I grew up in a little place called Mace's Bay and there were things I didn't like about it, for example, a lot of my friends lived 30 minutes away, I could never do any after school activities, and as I got older I realized that everyone knew everyone else's business. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about. Living in the Bay meant that I lived close to a beach. Now growing up, I use to get into fights with my Mom and others. Unlike most teenages who run in their room and play their loud music when they are mad at their parents (I know I have done that a few times as well), I on the other hand would slam the front door and make my way to the beach. At the beach I would throw rocks at seagulls (never hitting them, well not very often anyway) but mostly I would think about what just happened and tried to make sense of it all and after a while I would just feel really calm inside.

I started going to the beach a lot, to sit and think and to talk to God. The beach became my place where I felt closest to God. So now when I am upset or feel really disconnected to God I like to go to the beach and just chill.

Well the other night I had a dream and the dream was this; (no this isn't going to turn into a foot prints poem)

The dream first took place in my bedroom (not my really one), where I was crying on my bed. And it wasn't like a tear tear cry but a sobbing cry. I remember it feeling like forever, but then heard a knock on my door and I said come in. Without warning I was now on the beach, New River Beach to be exact and I wasn't alone. I was walking hand in hand with God. We didn't talk or anything, we just walked down the beach and I felt so peaceful and it was nice.

So I went to the Bay this weekend and I went to New River Beach and walked the beach with my good old friend Andrea. It was nice. The pictures are from that walk on the beach. Well there ya go...

Where do you feel the closest to God?

Math Sheet Success

2006-10-19T21:10:00.000-03:00

I have been working at the After School Program (ASP) for a little over a month now and I can't believe I haven't posted about it yet. There has been many stories but nothing out of the ordinary for the ASP. You know siblings stabbing each other in the head with scissors, kids giving you MARJOR attitude, Middle School girls writing on the bathroom walls and when you confront them about it they say;
Student A & B - "Oh no, that wasn't us,"
Me - "Then who was it?"
Student A"Oh well, I seen a girl walk into the bathroom with a sharpie in her pocket."
Me - "Sure",
Student A & B - "Seriously, Jen"
Me - "Well what about you?"
Student B - "Well it couldn't of been me because I am left handed and it isn't slanted the right way."
Me - "You know what I think, I think you watch to much CSI"

Eventually both the girls admitted to doing it and scrubbed the walls clean.

But today something happened that reminds me why I love my job. Today I was working with a kid who I am going to call "Boy". Well Boy is a kid who needs a lot of one on one help with his homework. So I was helping him today with one of his math sheets and we finished the one we were working on so I told him I had to go back and check the ones he did on his own. Well he had a few wrong and when I told him he had to correct them, he started to cry. (He gets really frustrated with himself when he gets some wrong but the only reason he gets them wrong is because he rushes through them, he is more than capable of doing them) Well for those of you who know me, know I don't really like it when people cry but I handle it a lot better than I use to. Anywho, Boy began to cry and this is where I looked at him and just encouraged him and told him, he could do it and he could go play in no time. Well I was right in no time he was finished and this is what made my day, Boy looked up at me and said, " I did it" and smiled a huge smile. And I know some are thinking well so he did do it, but I just felt his accomplishment and that made me smile.

I know I don't say it enough but I LOVE my job and I thank God for this opportunity he has given me.

Ear part 4

2006-10-18T00:03:00.000-03:00

First I want to thank all of you for your prayers, they have defiantly been felt. My jaw is doing a lot better. I can eat almost anything now (it takes a bit more time) and if I use my jaw a lot then it hurts afterwards. But all in all it's good.

I went to see my family doctor today who informed me that swelling in my ear canal has gone down but is still pretty infected. Also now my ear drum is infected too! Which is not helping my hearing, which according to him won't be back to normal for another week or so. Argh!

So yes, please continue to pray. Thanks again...

Yet Again Another Update

2006-10-14T18:29:00.000-03:00

Thanks for all your prayers. My ear is a little better today. I slept better last night and by better I mean everytime I woke up, I wasn't up for hours trying to get back to sleep. Also I managed to eat a hot dog today. It took a very, very long time but I did it.

But I think I over done it today because I am in a bit more pain now. Please pray for me for tomorrow. I am leading Youth Group and I am suppose to leading a talk tomorrow at a Youth Service. And as of right now I couldn't do it. The more I talk the more my jaw hurts. Thanks again for all your prayers.

Update #2

2006-10-13T22:25:00.000-03:00

Well last night was worse than the first night which I never thought was possible. I fell asleep around 12:30am and I was a wake again but 3:00am and I never got back to sleep until 8ish where I only slept for about 30 - 45 mins. Now the reason I couldn't sleep was that my ear was killing me, it felt like there was loose liquid in it that kept popping and cracking and the pressure was unbelievable.

So I decided that I should go back to the doctor because I didn't know how much more I could handle. So I went back to the Walk In Clinic where I seen yet another nice doctor, who told me that my ear canal is swollen almost shut. All that is open is a little slit. So he kept me on my antibiotics along with ear drops, 4 times a day and 3 advil 4 times a day.

Also he told me that if it doesn't get better in a few days that I will have to go to the emergency room where they will have to insert something into my ear to clear a passage way. I am really REALLY nervous about this, and I am praying that it doesn't have to come to that and I hope you will be praying too.

Update

2006-10-12T13:10:00.000-03:00

Last night was a pretty horrible night. I couldn't sleep because I was in a lot of pain. I am use to sleeping on my right side and of course that is the ear that is infected. This morning my face is swollen a lot more and I can hardly open my mouth. I had soup to eat for lunch and it hurt to open my mouth enough to get the spoon in also to chew the noodles. Yup that's right I said the noodles. Anyways, please continue to pray and I will try to keep you updated.

Prayer Request

2006-10-11T22:25:00.000-03:00

Hello Everyone,
I have a prayer request. I woke up this morning feeling fine and while I was at work my right ear started throbbing and I was thinking that is weird and random, so I just kind of ignored it. But by the end of work I was in a lot more pain. I then called the clinic (and got in) where I seen a very nice doctor who told me I have an ear infection. It is not a regular infection, most ear infections are found in the ear drum but mine is in the ear canal which is causing my ear to swell and my face around my ear. This is a little painful. So I would really appreciate your prayers.

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-10-07T22:13:00.000-03:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!

What are you thankful for?

P.S. I do know this picture is not from a thanksgiving episode but it is one of my favorite pictures of a turkey...

Exciting News

2006-10-04T12:40:00.000-03:00

I am a proud new owner of Corner Gas Season 3 and I am super excited. Why is this so exciting, well because in my opinion I think this is one of the most clever & funniest shows on tv and it is Canadian.

I am really looking forward to sitting down, relaxing and watching this wonderful tv show. I miss some of the season 3 episodes because I was at work, doing homework, or writing an essay. HA - who am I trying to kid, I would of never missed Corner Gas for homework or essay writing.

If you have never seen this show, I recommend you watch at least one episode (because after that you will be hooked). It is on Monday nights at 8:30pm on CTV or you can check out their website, www.cornergas.com .

So my question for you is what show is it that you can't miss??

Open Season

2006-10-01T13:17:00.000-03:00

Last night Emma and I went to see Open Season and it was GREAT!!! I recommend it to everyone! It is really funny! Although it is a cartoon, it is so for adults! But still okay for kids!!

So if you are bored or just want a good funny movie to watch, go and see it!

If you want to watch the trailer click here: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9146748391222580574

My Master Piece

2006-09-29T23:33:00.000-03:00

This is my cow, I made him during Bible Study on Tuesday night!!

Oh yes, I was reminded tonight that my cow, smelt like peppermint.

Why you may ask?

Well Because Gray had the genius idea to put articfical peppermint flavoring

in the play doh...yup that's right...

Our play-doh was scented!

We have the coolest BS ever!!

Where else could you make scented play-doh animals??

Isn't he great??

White Fluffy Kittens

2006-09-27T12:43:00.000-03:00

So last night Emma, Gray and I were watching tv and there was a toilet paper commercial. Maybe you have seen it. It is the Royale one with the little kittens in the bathroom and they are playing with the toilet paper. They puff up, like they become fluffier. (it is for softer TP). If you want to see the kittens fluff up go to www.royale.ca .

Anyways, Emma and I being who we are started thinking....what if you accidentally wiped your butt with a fluffy white kitten. Who would want to do that? Can you imagine that? That would be weird...

Now, Mine and Emma's come back is ....shut up or I will wipe your butt with a fluffy white kitten...

All I can say is Thanks Royale for giving me something to post about....

And for my loyal readers, my question for you is what do you think about toilet paper commerials? And which one is your favorite or least favorite??

God's Smart!!

2006-09-24T16:27:00.000-03:00

God knew what he was doing when he said we need a day to rest.
And as you can see from the picture I take the day of rest really serious.

Nothing beats Sunday afternoon naps!!!

Thanks for taking a picture of me snoozing Em!!

My Hearts Cry Today

2006-09-22T11:51:00.000-03:00

Dear God,

Your word says if we call out to you, you hear us and help. I feel like I have been calling out for years and I am not getting any better. I am trying to believe your truth, but sometimes it is so hard and I feel like giving up. This is where I need your strength. I am so tired of feeling the way I am feeling and like no one out there can help me.

It seems like when there is a hint of light/hope that darkness quickly sneaks back in and everything I have worked so hard for vanishes right before my eyes. This is very discouraging to me.

Father, I know that you love me and that you catch every tear that falls from my eyes. Which comforts me. And I know that I don't always trust you because I am stubborn and like to handle things on my own. But like I have already said, I am tired. I can't do this on my own anymore. I need you to intervene!!

This is my hearts cry to you....

Love Your Child,
Jen

Back To Work

2006-09-18T19:10:00.000-03:00

Well, well, the time has come again where I can not sleep until 11am everyday, lazy around and do nothing. That's right I am back to work on Wednesday. I am so excited even though I won't be with the kids until next week. Getting back into a routine, is good for me. My job is only a part time one and I don't work when kids are not in school (like summer, Christmas, March Break, etc..), but I love it. Well at least I did last year!

So if those of you who read this want to pray that I find another job that will fit into my schedule that would be great and pray that I have a good year at the After School Program (ASP) that would be great. I am sure this isn't the last you will hear of the ASP, guaranteed there will be more stories as I begin to work with the kids....

I'm Still Here

2006-09-13T01:07:00.000-03:00

Dear God,

I was just wondering if you have been busy lately....Why you ask? Well because I feel like you have kind of over looked me. I know that it is my fault because I haven't been keeping in touch like I should be. And I am truly sorry for that and I am really am trying to be better at it. I just feel that everyone else's lives are beginning to fall into place except mine. It is really frustrating and I feel really discouraged!

On the other hand I know that all things are done in your timing and we sometimes have to be patient! It is just hard to wait while watching everyone else around me seem to be moving forward and I am just standing still!!

Deep down I know you are there and haven't left me at all but I am just having trouble believing it right now...Bear with me Lord, Please just bear with me!!

Thanks for listening...

Love, Your Child ...Jen

This ones for you, Emma!

2006-09-10T01:03:00.000-03:00

Once upon a time there was a girl named Emma. She had a marvelous Chicken-hat that allowed her to see into my brain. One day, while collecting gold coins with my pal Luigi we were attacked by a chicken, with ginormous teeth and a pointy horn. Obviously this was no regular chicken. He had a stench of artificial smoke flavouring.

Now when this chicken came after us, we did the only logical thing ... we ran. Luigi and I had a lot of obstacles such as; turtles with wings that dropped bombs on us, fire breathing dinosaurs, catipillar guys with freaky capes and giant puddle jumping, man eating fish, etc. Although we managed to survive all these whacked out obstacles, the giant chicken was still hot on our heels.

You may be thinking, "What does this have to do with Emma's chicken-hat?". This is where our story gets interesting. All of a sudden, Luigi and I heard this ear piercing scream, like a 16 year old girl stumbling upon a big hairy spider. We spun around to see that it really was a 16 year old girl. Not just any ordinary 16 year old girl, this girl had the ability to lure large chickens with her amazing musical tastes. We knew our butts were saved.

Armed with her MP3 player and some of those tiny speakers, the chicken pied piper led the monstrous chicken though the city and away from us. Now luigi and I were intrigued and followed behind at a safe distance. As the last stains of Bono's haunting vocals faded, a mysterious building came into view. It was the legendary Olsen's (West Side....awh yhheeeah).

Our hero led the beast directly to the deli entrance where Mr. Olsen signed for the delivery. The girl had only one condition, that Mr. Olsen save the carcass of the giant chicken. Mr. O thought this was a strange request but agreed gladly after considering how much Smokin' Chickey Turken he could make from this animal.

The girl took the carcass and, knowing rightly well the magical properties of a giant chicken, she got her fash-on in a marvelous smokin' Chicken hat, which gave her the ability to see into my brain.

That girl's name was Emma and what does she see in my brain?

Hey Emma, you're so fine. You're so fine, you blow my mind. Hey Emma. *clap clap* Hey Emma *clap clap*

The End!

The Perfect Place

2006-09-05T13:47:00.000-03:00

"And these nails they pierce right through me
But i don't know what this means
And this weight upon my shoulders
Makes me fall down to my knees
And I’m praying to this silence
But I don't know who can hear
And these waves of fake religion
They all echo in my ears
And this is where I fall...

The perfect place for me to fall
Is at your feet 'cause this is
All that I can offer you
To honor you
Cause who I am is what you do"

This is the second verse and chorus to a song by Hello Kelly called, The Perfect Place". I was listening to it the other day as I often do but there was something different about it, it really spoke to me.

I know that there are times in my life where I feel that I am so weighed down by the things of this world that I can not continue and I feel like giving up, and I get so frustrated because I am calling out to God but it seems that He doesn't hear me or worse I start believing the lies of the enemy, that God doesn't care.

Then it happens, I fall! As I am lying there on my knees and I look up, it is then that I realize what has happened and where I am. I have been trying to carry things on my own and not listening to God because he is telling me to let go of them and he will take care of them, but I just don't let go. And I stumble and stumble until I fall. And when I look up, where am I? At the foot of the Cross.

I am so tired because I have been trying to fight the battle myself that I just lay there crying and I am so weak that I can't do anything else. The only thing I can offer God is myself. And do you know what God does? He comforts me, helps me back up and tells me I am his Child and he loves me and how that will never change.
I don't think this post does justice to what the song actually says to me. It is so powerful to me that I can't even express it. This is the best that I can do...

SMOKIN' CHICKEY TURKEN ??

2006-08-31T16:20:00.000-03:00

Once upon a time, a girl named Jen went to a store on the West Side of Saint John called Olsen's. Jen was just going into look around because Olsen's usual has some good buys. Well Jen went into the store and there piled in a box was this sandwhich meat. Well Jen looked at the price and it was $1.99 for a huge pack of this meat. So she bought two packs. Now there was no sign telling her what kind of meat it was but she could elminate roast beef and ham because of the color. So she brought it home and her family cracked it open and it was the best tasting sandwhich meat in the world!!! (okay, maybe not the best but it was still flipping good). Well when someone asked her what kind of meat it was Jen said, "I don't really know." Later on Jen and her good friend Emma decided to that the no -name meat couldn't be nameless for any longer. So Jen and Emma put on their thinking caps and decided that the mystery would be named "Smokin' Chickey Turken".

So now people all over the world will know if they ever go into Olsen's and see white ish colored meat with no name, it is the famous "Smokin' Chickey Turken" .

Welcome to the World

2006-08-29T09:42:00.000-03:00

Samuel (Sam) Robert McFarlane is HERE!!! That's right the baby I have been waiting for ever since my cousin told me she was having another baby is finally here. He joined us on August 15, 2006 at 8:24pm. And Mummy and him are doing just fine, they are home now with Daddy and older sister Abby...I ask for your prayers to be with them over the next little while as the family transitions into having another little one around... Thanks ahead of time!!

Tired of being Tired

2006-08-13T22:39:00.000-03:00

Once there was this girl named Jen, who wanted nothing more than to get at least five hours of sleep a night. She did everything she possibly could to get some shut eye but nothing seemed to work. So one night when she was really tired she thought to herself what haven't I done to help me sleep. Well she started thinking and thinking (yes there maybe even been a little bit of smoke) and then it was like a light bulb went off in her head. Yes that is what I will do, she thought to herself. So she made her way upstairs and sat down in front of the computer and went to her blogger spot and wrote an entry that went a little something like this...

"Dear Readers,
I have not been sleeping well and I was just wondering if those who stumble across this could keep me in your prayers because I am getting really tired and frustrated as we all would if we were only getting two or three hours of sleep a night.

Thanks in advance,
Your Sister in Christ,
Jen."

Now there could be two endings to this story.

First possibility:

Is that Jen doesn't sleep more than two or three hours a night again and she goes crazy and goes and lives "Wake A Thon Community" and nobody ever hears from her again.

Second Possibility:

You find it in your heart to say a little prayer for her and she is back to normal (whatever that is) in a week or so and gets to write cool blogs like this one for months to come.

Now you chose the ending.....

Once Upon a Time....

2006-08-06T22:23:00.000-03:00

Once upon a time there was this girl named Jen, she had just recently became pressured into making a blogger spot by fellow friends (whether they knew this or not). Why you may ask? Well because Jen really liked to leave comments on people's website/blogs and the "blogger" site wouldn't let her leave a message unless she signed up for a blogger account herself. So she gave in and became a blogger like everyone else she knows.

So here is her blogger spot....ENJOY!!!